AITA for telling our teenage daughter that her mom “let herself go” after kids, so now I have to look elsewhere to feel desired?

Welcome back, folks, to another round of "Am I the Asshole?" Today's submission is a truly jaw-dropping one that dives deep into the complexities of marriage, body image, and the shocking things parents say in front of their children. This story has ignited a firestorm of debate online, and for good reason. It involves a father, a mother, and an innocent teenage daughter caught in the crossfire of a deeply hurtful statement.

We've all been privy to uncomfortable family dynamics, but this one takes the cake for its sheer audacity and the profound impact it has on multiple individuals. Our original poster, let's call him 'David,' has laid bare a moment of profound insensitivity, and he's genuinely asking if he crossed a line. Prepare yourselves, because this one is a doozy, and the community's reaction has been swift and unforgiving.

"AITA for telling our teenage daughter that her mom “let herself go” after kids, so now I have to look elsewhere to feel desired?"

Let's address the elephant in the room: the statement itself. Telling your teenage daughter that her mother "let herself go" and implying you need to "look elsewhere" is an incredibly destructive thing to say. Regardless of the marital issues, dragging your child into an adult conflict in such a demeaning way is profoundly damaging. It undermines the mother, warps the daughter's view of relationships, and introduces an unhealthy dynamic into the parent-child bond.

The OP's intent, as he describes it, was to explain his feelings of being undesired. While those feelings are valid within a marital context, the delivery and audience were catastrophic. Expressing frustration about a lack of intimacy and connection is one thing; blaming a partner's physical changes and implying infidelity (even if not intended) in front of a child is entirely another. It's a fundamental breach of trust and respect within the family unit.

Consider the impact on Chloe. A teenage girl is highly impressionable, and hearing her father say such things about her mother's body and worth can be incredibly traumatic. It can foster insecurity about her own future body, create deep resentment towards her father, and teach her unhealthy lessons about how partners should treat each other, especially as bodies change with age and life events.

For Sarah, this statement is a profound betrayal. It weaponizes her physical changes against her and implies her value as a partner is tied solely to her appearance and sexual responsiveness. While a conversation about intimacy is necessary in a marriage, this was not that conversation. This was a public humiliation that will likely make any future attempts at reconciliation incredibly difficult, if not impossible.

The Internet Weighs In: Was This Dad Way Out of Line?

The comment section, as expected, has been a tsunami of YTA verdicts. Users are overwhelmingly condemning the original poster for his choice of words and, more importantly, for involving his teenage daughter in such a hurtful manner. Many pointed out the irreparable damage this could do to Chloe's self-esteem and her relationship with both parents. The general consensus is that while the OP's feelings of being undesired might be valid, his method of expressing them was unequivocally wrong.

Beyond the immediate YTA, many commenters focused on the broader implications for the marriage and the children. There's a strong sentiment that this statement reveals deeper issues within the relationship that need professional intervention, far beyond a Reddit post. Several users emphasized that even if the marriage is struggling, a parent's duty is to protect their children, not expose them to such toxic adult conflicts.

This story serves as a stark reminder of the immense power our words hold, especially within the family unit. While the original poster's feelings of neglect are understandable, the manner and audience for his outburst were incredibly damaging. This isn't just about marital discord; it's about the emotional safety and well-being of a child caught in an adult crossfire. It's a tough lesson, but one that highlights the critical need for respectful communication, even in moments of intense frustration, and a clear boundary between adult issues and a child's innocence.