AITA for telling my wife I never loved her sober, only when I was drunk?
Oh, boy. This one's going to hit hard, folks. We often talk about how words can sting, but some words don't just sting – they gut you. The user today brings us a story that encapsulates the absolute raw, unfiltered, and devastating power of a sentence uttered in a moment of profound brokenness, perhaps fueled by a substance that often distorts reality.\nThis isn't just about a fight; it's about the shattering of a core belief in a relationship. When one partner reveals such a foundational, heartbreaking truth, even if said in anger or under the influence, the fallout is immense. Grab your tissues, because this AITA is going to be a tough one to process, and the comments section is sure to be a battlefield.
"AITA for telling my wife I never loved her sober, only when I was drunk?"
This story is a stark reminder of the destructive power of addiction, not just to the individual, but to everyone in their orbit. The words uttered by OP, while potentially coming from a place of self-loathing and drunken despair, are incredibly cruel and damaging. It's difficult to imagine a more devastating blow to a partner's sense of self-worth and the foundation of their relationship than to hear such a statement.\nFrom Sarah's perspective, this isn't just a hurtful comment; it's a redefinition of her entire relationship. To believe that the love she thought was real was merely a byproduct of intoxication is a profound betrayal. It raises questions about every happy memory, every shared moment, casting a dark shadow over their entire history together. Her immediate reaction to leave is completely understandable given the circumstances.\nHowever, it's also important to acknowledge that addiction often makes people say and do things they wouldn't normally. This doesn't excuse the words, but it contextualizes the state of mind they might have come from. The OP's regret now that he's sober indicates that these might not be his true, deeply held beliefs, but rather the ugly manifestation of his disease speaking through him in a moment of extreme pressure and intoxication.\nUltimately, this is a crisis point. Regardless of the underlying cause, the words have been spoken. The immediate focus for OP needs to be on genuine self-reflection and seeking help for his addiction. The question of whether the relationship can survive this kind of trauma is secondary to addressing the root cause of his destructive behavior. Rehabilitation and consistent effort are the only paths forward, whether alone or together.
The internet weighs in: Can a relationship recover from such devastating honesty?
The comments section on this post is, predictably, a mix of shock, anger, and a few voices offering tough love. Many users are echoing the sentiment that regardless of the addiction, those words are unforgivable. There's a strong leaning towards 'YTA' for the sheer cruelty, with many arguing that even if he felt that way, saying it aloud in such a brutal manner crosses a line that simply cannot be uncrossed.\nHowever, there are also some who are pointing towards the destructive nature of addiction itself, suggesting that the 'A' here isn't just OP, but the alcohol. They argue that this is a desperate cry for help, albeit one delivered in the most damaging way possible. The consensus, though, seems to be that regardless of the 'why,' the impact on Sarah is paramount, and the relationship's future is bleak without serious intervention.
This AITA serves as a harsh lesson in the consequences of unchecked addiction and unbridled anger. While OP's regret now he's sober is evident, the damage done by his words is likely profound and potentially irreversible. The path forward, for him, must involve intensive recovery and therapy, regardless of whether Sarah decides to return. For Sarah, her priority must be her own healing and well-being. Sometimes, the truth, no matter how honest, can be the ultimate end of everything.
