AITA for refusing to let my girlfriend get therapy because “it’s just an excuse to complain”?

Welcome back, mental health warriors and relationship gurus! Today's AITA post plunges us into a truly sensitive topic: a partner's view on therapy. In an age where seeking professional help for mental health is increasingly destigmatized and encouraged, it's easy to assume everyone understands its value. Yet, stories like these remind us that old beliefs and anxieties about therapy still persist, sometimes with damaging consequences for relationships.
It's one thing to have reservations or questions about therapy, but it's an entirely different matter when one partner actively refuses to let the other pursue it. This particular post has sparked a fiery debate online, touching on themes of control, support, and the fundamental respect for a partner's well-being. Buckle up, because this one definitely hits close to home for many of our readers.

"AITA for refusing to let my girlfriend get therapy because “it’s just an excuse to complain”?"





The core of this conflict lies in a fundamental misunderstanding, and frankly, a dismissal of what therapy truly is. Labeling it as "just an excuse to complain" trivializes the severe emotional distress someone might be experiencing and ignores the legitimate, evidence-based support a mental health professional can provide. Therapy offers tools, strategies, and a safe space for processing complex emotions, which is vastly different from simply 'whining' to a friend.
Furthermore, the refusal to 'let' a partner get therapy borders on controlling behavior. An adult individual has the right to make decisions about their own healthcare, including mental health. A supportive partner's role is to encourage and facilitate well-being, not to dictate or obstruct it based on personal, uninformed opinions. This stance communicates a lack of trust in the partner's judgment and needs.
The poster's assertion that he is enough to talk to, or that therapy might 'brainwash' her, reveals a worrying lack of understanding about the therapeutic process. While a partner's support is invaluable, they are not a substitute for a licensed therapist. Friends and partners offer emotional support, but therapists offer clinical expertise, objectivity, and confidentiality – essential elements for effective mental health care that a loved one cannot realistically provide.
Ultimately, this situation creates a significant rift in the relationship. When one partner feels their legitimate needs for help are being invalidated, dismissed, and actively opposed by the other, it erodes trust, respect, and emotional intimacy. This isn't just about therapy; it's about how much one partner values and respects the other's autonomy and well-being. This could very well be a deal-breaker.
The Internet Weighs In: Is OP's Stance a Dealbreaker?
The comments section on this post was, as expected, a tidal wave of NTA/YTA votes, with a resounding consensus that OP is firmly in the wrong. Readers were quick to point out the significant red flags in his behavior, labeling his refusal as deeply unsupportive and potentially controlling. Many shared personal experiences highlighting the profound benefits of therapy, directly countering OP's dismissive claims.
Common themes emerging from the feedback included the importance of autonomy in healthcare decisions, the difference between a partner's support and professional guidance, and the problematic nature of telling someone they're "just complaining" when they express a need for mental health help. A recurring piece of advice for the girlfriend was to seriously reconsider her relationship with someone who actively obstructs her well-being.




This AITA post serves as a stark reminder that mental health is just as crucial as physical health, and a supportive partner acknowledges and encourages seeking help. Refusing to 'let' your partner get therapy isn't protecting them; it's undermining their autonomy and well-being. For the original poster, a serious re-evaluation of his perspective and priorities is essential. His girlfriend's mental health and the future of their relationship depend on his ability to educate himself and offer genuine, unconditional support.


