AITA for banning my teenage daughter from wearing makeup because she looks “trashy” with it on?

Oh, the joys and trials of teenage self-expression! Today, we're diving into a situation that many parents and teens can unfortunately relate to: the battle over appearance. Specifically, the ever-contentious topic of makeup. It's a rite of passage for many young people, a way to explore identity, creativity, and sometimes, push boundaries. But what happens when a parent's idea of 'appropriate' clashes dramatically with their child's burgeoning sense of style?
This week's AITA post throws us right into the thick of it. A parent has not only expressed strong disapproval of their 16-year-old daughter's makeup choices, but has gone as far as to ban it entirely, citing that it makes her look 'trashy.' The internet, as you can imagine, has some *thoughts* on this. Let's unpack this sticky situation and see if we can navigate the complexities of parental guidance versus crushing a teen's spirit.

"AITA for banning my teenage daughter from wearing makeup because she looks "trashy" with it on?"




Parental concerns about a teenager's appearance are incredibly common, and it's understandable for a parent to want their child to present themselves in a way they consider appropriate. The desire to protect a child's image and ensure they are perceived positively often comes from a place of love. However, the choice of language here, specifically the word 'trashy,' is where this situation becomes particularly fraught and likely crosses a line.
Teenage years are a crucial time for identity formation, and self-expression through clothing, hair, and yes, makeup, is a fundamental part of that journey. What Chloe perceives as artistic experimentation and personal style, her mother sees as 'garish' and 'trashy.' This disconnect highlights a generational gap, but more importantly, a communication breakdown that has significant implications for the daughter's self-esteem.
Banning makeup outright, especially after using such a harsh descriptor, risks making the daughter feel profoundly judged, unaccepted, and even shamed for her choices. This approach can lead to rebellion or, conversely, a deep insecurity about her appearance. While a parent has the right to set boundaries, an outright ban on something so tied to self-expression can be counterproductive, eroding trust and pushing the teen further away.
Perhaps a more constructive approach could have involved offering to take Chloe to a makeup artist for a lesson on application techniques, or suggesting a compromise where she can experiment more freely at home but wears a toned-down version for school or public outings. The goal should be guidance and empowerment, not control and shame. The impact of words, especially from a parent, can echo for years.
The Internet Weighs In: Is This Parent Out of Line for Banning Makeup?
The internet's verdict on this one was swift and largely unanimous: YTA (You're The Asshole) for the parent, primarily due to the use of the word 'trashy.' Commenters universally condemned this language as incredibly damaging to a teenage girl's self-esteem. Many pointed out that teenage experimentation with makeup, even if it's 'too much,' is normal and part of finding one's identity. The common sentiment was that a parent's role is to guide and teach, not to shame and ban.
Several users highlighted that while the parent's concern about the makeup might be valid, the execution was deeply flawed. Instead of fostering an open dialogue or offering alternatives, the parent resorted to harsh criticism and an outright prohibition. This, many argued, would likely backfire, either causing the daughter to hide her makeup use or developing deep-seated insecurities about her appearance. The overarching theme was that parental control, when wielded without empathy, often does more harm than good.





This story serves as a stark reminder of the delicate balance in parenting teenagers. While a parent's instinct to guide and protect is natural, the method and language used can have profound, lasting effects. Using shaming language like 'trashy' and implementing an outright ban often backfires, damaging self-esteem and eroding trust. The goal should always be to foster open communication, build confidence, and teach discernment, rather than resort to control. Let's remember that our children's journeys of self-discovery, even if a little messy, are vital for their growth.

