AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend after she gained 50 pounds and saying I’m no longer attracted to her?

Welcome back, dear readers, to another dive into the intricate world of relationships and the often-uncomfortable truths we face. Today's story touches on a profoundly sensitive topic: physical attraction and how changes in appearance can impact even the most deeply rooted connections. It's a conversation many shy away from, yet it's undeniably a part of human experience, sparking intense debate whenever it arises.

Our OP, 'Throwaway_attraction,' finds himself at a crossroads after his girlfriend underwent a significant physical transformation. He made the difficult decision to end their relationship, citing a loss of attraction. But was his honesty brutal, or simply a necessary truth? Let's unpack this truly thorny situation and see if the internet thinks he's the A-hole. Grab your coffee and prepare for a nuanced discussion.

"AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend after she gained 50 pounds and saying I’m no longer attracted to her?"

Physical attraction, while often deemed superficial, is a fundamental component for many romantic relationships. It's not something we can always control, and if it wanes significantly, it can indeed lead to the demise of a partnership. To dismiss it entirely would be to ignore a core human experience that contributes to intimacy and desire for many individuals. OP's feelings are valid, even if uncomfortable to admit.

However, the manner in which this truth is delivered carries immense weight. The ex-girlfriend, Sarah, likely felt blindsided and deeply hurt, not just by the breakup, but by the direct statement about her physical appearance. There could be underlying reasons for her weight gain, such as stress, health issues, medication, or even a sense of comfort within the relationship, which may have been overlooked or not fully understood by OP.

Our OP struggled with his feelings for a year, which shows he didn't make this decision lightly. He also claims he tried to support healthier habits, suggesting a genuine concern beyond mere aesthetics. The question then becomes whether his honesty, though painful, was preferable to staying in a relationship where he felt unfulfilled and resentful, potentially leading to a more drawn-out and agonizing end.

Ultimately, while OP is entitled to his feelings of attraction, the specific phrasing 'I'm no longer attracted to you because of the weight gain' is undeniably harsh. It leaves little room for the other person's feelings or potential struggles, and it can inflict a deep wound. This situation highlights the delicate balance between personal truth and compassionate communication in the dissolution of a relationship.

The Internet Weighs In: Was He Brutally Honest or Just Brutal?

The comment section for this story was, as expected, a whirlwind of strong opinions. Many users sided with OP, emphasizing that attraction isn't a choice and that it's unfair to expect someone to stay in a relationship where that fundamental element is missing. They often highlighted his attempts to support her healthier lifestyle as evidence he wasn't being entirely shallow, but genuinely concerned for her well-being and their shared future.

Conversely, a significant portion of commenters labeled OP as the A-hole, primarily focusing on the perceived cruelty of his delivery. They argued that while he's entitled to his feelings, stating 'I'm no longer attracted to you because you gained weight' is devastating and unnecessary. Many pointed out the lack of empathy, suggesting he could have handled the breakup with more kindness, focusing on incompatible lifestyles rather than body shaming.

This situation, like many AITA dilemmas, lacks a clear-cut villain. While OP's feelings of diminished attraction are valid and personal, the impact of his blunt honesty on his ex-girlfriend is undeniable. It serves as a stark reminder that even when delivering difficult truths, compassion and empathy remain crucial. Relationships are complex, evolving entities, and sometimes the hardest part is accepting when they've run their course, especially when physical changes play a role. Ultimately, it emphasizes the importance of self-care for both partners and open, albeit gentle, communication.