AITA for refusing to attend my friend’s baby shower because I hate kids and think it’s boring?
Oh, the social calendar! It's brimming with events, some we adore, some we tolerate, and some we'd rather avoid like a plague. Today's AITA story brings us face to face with a classic dilemma: balancing personal preferences with the expectations of friendship. Is it ever okay to outright refuse an invitation to a significant life event, especially when your reasons are rooted in pure disinterest?
Our Original Poster (OP) has stirred quite the pot by openly declaring their disdain for children and, by extension, baby showers. This isn't just a slight inconvenience; it's a fundamental aversion. But where do we draw the line between honest self-expression and being a supportive friend? Let's dive into this prickly situation and see what the internet has to say.

"AITA for refusing to attend my friend's baby shower because I hate kids and think it's boring?"




This situation is a classic clash between personal authenticity and social obligation, especially within a close friendship. On one hand, the OP has a right to their feelings and preferences. Disliking children, while perhaps uncommon or unpopular, is a valid personal stance, and the idea of enduring an event they genuinely find torturous is not appealing. Forcing oneself to fake enthusiasm can feel disingenuous.
However, friendship often requires us to step outside our comfort zones for the people we care about. Important life events, like a baby shower, are often more about showing support and celebrating a friend than about personal enjoyment of the activity itself. Attending, even for a short while, can be a profound gesture of love and solidarity, regardless of one's feelings about babies or themed games.
The critical factor here might be the delivery of the refusal. While honesty is often lauded, bluntness can inflict significant pain. There's a difference between saying "I'm not really a baby shower person, but I want to celebrate you, so let's do X instead" and "I hate kids and baby showers are torture." The latter, while truthful, can feel like a direct attack on the friend's joy and the significance of her event.
From Sarah's perspective, this is a deeply personal and exciting time. For her friend to explicitly state a hatred for children and the event celebrating her child, it likely feels like a rejection of her happiness and her future family. She probably feels unsupported and hurt, especially when she made it clear how much she wanted the OP there. This isn't just about a party; it's about feeling valued by a close friend.
The internet weighs in: Is brutal honesty always the best policy, or just plain rude?
The comment section on this post was absolutely on fire, proving once again that the line between honesty and rudeness is fiercely debated! Many commenters sided with OP, arguing that faking enthusiasm would have been worse. They championed authenticity, suggesting that Sarah would eventually see through a forced smile and that a true friend understands boundaries. The sentiment was strong: NTA for knowing yourself and setting expectations.
On the other side, a significant number of users emphatically declared OP the A-hole. Their main point revolved around the concept of basic friendship etiquette and empathy. They highlighted that sometimes, you show up for friends, even when you're not thrilled, because their happiness matters. The consensus among these users was that OP's delivery was unnecessarily harsh and selfish, deeply hurting a friend during a vulnerable, joyous time.




This AITA story really highlights the delicate balance in friendships. While authenticity is valued, it needs to be tempered with empathy and an understanding of a friend's feelings, especially during significant life events. Sometimes, the 'right' thing to do isn't what makes you comfortable, but what supports someone you care about. Ultimately, both parties have to weigh the value of their friendship against their personal boundaries and preferences. It's a tough lesson, and there's rarely a universally 'correct' answer.