My mom told me my panic attacks make her “look like a bad parent.” AITA?

Welcome back to another edition of 'AITA Drama Unpacked'! Today, we're diving into a heartbreaking post that strikes at the core of family support and mental health. Our original poster, grappling with panic attacks, found themselves in a truly upsetting situation with their own mother. It's a tale that will undoubtedly resonate with anyone who's ever felt invalidated by a loved one, especially during a moment of vulnerability.

The post title alone sends shivers down the spine: 'My mom told me my panic attacks make her look like a bad parent.' This isn't just about a disagreement; it's about a fundamental misunderstanding of mental illness and the immense pressure some parents put on their children to maintain an illusion of perfection. Let's unpack this difficult scenario and see where the community landed on who, if anyone, is the asshole.

"My mom told me my panic attacks make her “look like a bad parent.” AITA?"

This story is incredibly tough to read, and it immediately highlights the deep pain that can arise when mental health struggles are met with judgment instead of empathy. On one hand, it's possible the mother feels overwhelmed or stressed by her daughter's panic attacks. Perhaps she genuinely doesn't understand the severity and feels helpless, leading to frustration. However, that doesn't excuse her choice of words.

The mother's comment, 'you make me look like a bad parent,' is a classic example of making a child's suffering about the parent's ego. It shifts the focus from the daughter's very real medical condition to the mother's perceived image, which is incredibly damaging. Panic attacks are not a choice or a performance; they are debilitating physiological responses that require compassion and support.

For a parent to essentially accuse their child of embarrassing them during a medical crisis is a profound failure of parental responsibility. A parent's primary role is to provide a safe, supportive environment, especially when their child is vulnerable. Instead, the OP's mother exacerbated the attack, leaving her feeling isolated and invalidated at a moment of extreme distress.

While the mother might have her own anxieties or insecurities, expressing them in this manner is emotionally manipulative and abusive. It places an unfair burden on the daughter, making her feel guilty for something beyond her control. The daughter's reaction of immense hurt and withdrawal is completely understandable and a natural consequence of such a cruel remark.

The internet weighs in: Is OP's mom a monster or just misunderstood?

The comment section on this post was, unsurprisingly, an overwhelming chorus of 'NTA' for our original poster. Readers were quick to condemn the mother's statement as emotionally abusive and incredibly selfish. Many shared their own experiences of unsupportive parents, validating the OP's pain and making it clear that her feelings of betrayal were entirely justified. The consensus was that a parent's reputation should never come before their child's well-being.

Several comments pointed out the gaslighting inherent in the mother's follow-up text, 'We really need to talk about your behavior,' framing the daughter's panic attacks as 'behavior' rather than a health issue. This further solidified the community's view that the mother was completely out of line. The overwhelming sentiment was that the OP needs to prioritize her own mental health, even if that means setting strong boundaries with her mother.

This heartbreaking story serves as a stark reminder that mental health is not a choice, and empathy from loved ones is paramount. The original poster is unequivocally NTA. Her mother's comments were deeply hurtful, invalidating, and entirely self-serving during a moment of profound vulnerability. It's crucial for the OP to prioritize her own healing and mental well-being, even if that means establishing firm boundaries with her mother. Seeking continued support from her therapist and understanding friends or family will be vital on her journey to recovery. Remember, you are never responsible for someone else's perception of you, especially when it comes at the cost of your own health.