My boss said I should “smile more” when clients flirt with me. AITA?

Oh boy, do we have a doozy for you today! The workplace can be a minefield of uncomfortable situations, but few things spark more debate than the age-old, gendered expectation for women to 'smile more.' It's a phrase that often carries a heavy, unspoken meaning, usually implying a woman's natural demeanor isn't pleasing enough, particularly to men.

Today's AITA submission dives headfirst into this very issue, presenting a scenario that many professional women can unfortunately relate to. Our original poster (OP) found herself in a truly awkward position involving a client, some unwelcome attention, and a boss who offered what he probably thought was 'helpful' advice. Let's unpack this thorny situation together.

"My boss said I should “smile more” when clients flirt with me. AITA?"

This scenario highlights a common and deeply problematic issue in many workplaces, particularly for women in client-facing roles. The expectation to 'smile more' often serves as a subtle, yet insidious, form of pressure to tolerate behavior that makes one uncomfortable, all under the guise of 'client relations' or 'being charming.' It blurs the line between professional conduct and personal boundaries, often at the expense of the employee's well-being.

OP's boss, Mark, seems to be prioritizing the client relationship above his employee's comfort and professional respect. His advice, while perhaps intended to smooth things over, inadvertently condones the client's inappropriate flirtation by placing the burden of managing it onto OP, rather than addressing the client's behavior or shielding his employee. This creates an environment where boundaries are secondary to profit, which is a dangerous precedent.

Furthermore, the boss's reaction to OP's pushback – 'No, of course not. Just be more…approachable' – shows a clear lack of understanding about the dynamics at play. He likely doesn't see the direct connection between 'being more approachable' and enabling unwanted advances. This failure to grasp the implications of his advice is not only frustrating for OP but also demonstrates a blind spot regarding workplace harassment and employee protection.

Ultimately, OP is in a difficult position where her professionalism is being conflated with her willingness to endure uncomfortable social situations for the sake of the company. It's a classic power dynamic where the boss's desire to please a large client overrides his responsibility to create a safe and respectful work environment for his team. This situation warrants a serious re-evaluation of workplace policies and communication.

The internet weighs in: Is 'smile more' ever okay in the workplace?

The internet was, as expected, ablaze with responses to OP's story, and the consensus was overwhelmingly clear: NTA, not by a long shot. Most commenters immediately recognized the inherent sexism and unprofessionalism in the boss's advice. Many shared similar experiences, emphasizing how frustrating and demeaning it is to be told to 'smile' or 'be more charming' in the face of inappropriate behavior.

The core of the feedback centered on the idea that an employee's professional performance should be judged on their skills and results, not on their willingness to perform emotional labor or tolerate uncomfortable advances. Commenters rightly pointed out that the boss's responsibility is to protect his employees, not to tacitly encourage them to endure questionable client conduct for the sake of a contract. The phrase 'smile more' in this context is rarely about actual customer service.

OP's story serves as a stark reminder that while we've made strides in workplace equality, subtle forms of sexism and harassment persist. The 'smile more' directive, especially when tied to managing inappropriate client behavior, is a deeply entrenched problem that places unfair burdens on employees, particularly women. It's crucial for individuals to recognize these patterns and for companies to foster environments where such expectations are challenged, not encouraged. Standing up for your boundaries, as OP bravely did, is essential, and hopefully, her story empowers others to do the same.