WIBTA for refusing to take my ex’s son to college even though he calls me “Dad”?

Oh, the tangled webs we weave when divorce enters the picture! Today, we're diving into a particularly thorny situation involving an ex-stepfather, a son who still calls him 'Dad,' and a college move across state lines. It’s a classic case of emotional ties colliding with new relationship boundaries and financial realities, leaving our OP in a real pickle.

This scenario highlights the delicate balance many step-parents face when a marriage ends. What are your responsibilities when the marital bond is broken, but the parental one, at least in the child's eyes, still remains? Is it fair to be asked to step up when the biological parent (or their new wealthy spouse) could easily handle it? Let's unpack this emotional rollercoaster.

"WIBTA for refusing to take my ex’s son to college even though he calls me “Dad”?"

This is truly a tough one, as it pits genuine affection against understandable resentment and practical concerns. On one hand, OP has been a dedicated father figure to Liam for a decade, and that bond is clearly cherished by both. Liam’s request, though initiated by his mother, comes from a place of wanting his 'Dad' there for a momentous occasion. Denying him might feel like a betrayal, especially during such a significant life transition.

However, OP's feelings of being taken advantage of are completely valid. Sarah, with her new wealthy spouse, seems to be conveniently passing off a parental responsibility without considering OP's resources or even bothering to ask him directly. The lack of an offer for financial assistance or a direct conversation from Sarah makes it feel less like a request and more like an expectation, which is incredibly disrespectful of OP's boundaries and sacrifices.

Liam's age is also a factor. At 18, he's old enough to understand that parental responsibilities extend beyond emotional support, into practicalities like time and money. While it's unfair for him to be put in the middle, it's also a moment for him to begin to grasp the complexities of adult relationships and the efforts people make for him. OP's hesitation isn't just about the drive; it's about the principle.

Ultimately, OP needs to weigh the potential long-term impact on his relationship with Liam against the short-term resentment of being used. It’s a delicate balance between setting healthy boundaries with an ex-partner and showing up for a young man he genuinely loves. There's no easy answer, and any decision will likely come with a mixture of feelings.

The Verdict Is In: Community Weighs In on OP's College Conundrum!

The comments section for this one was, as expected, a real battleground! Many users immediately jumped to Liam's defense, arguing that regardless of the ex-wife's behavior, OP's bond with Liam should take precedence. They highlighted the emotional importance of being there for a 'son' during a major life milestone, suggesting that the goodwill generated would far outweigh the temporary inconvenience or cost.

However, a significant portion of the community sympathized strongly with OP's frustration, pointing out that Sarah's expectation was out of line. They emphasized the importance of setting boundaries with an ex, especially when there's a clear financial disparity and a pattern of offloading responsibilities. Many suggested that Sarah and Mark should at least offer to cover expenses, if not find an alternative solution themselves.

This AITA post truly hits home on the complicated nature of modern family dynamics, especially post-divorce. There's a powerful emotional pull to show up for a child you've raised, juxtaposed with the very real need for boundaries and respect from an ex-partner. Ultimately, any decision OP makes will have consequences, both positive and negative, for his relationships. It's a reminder that sometimes, being a good 'Dad' means teaching tough lessons about respect and fairness, even when it's incredibly hard.