AITA for leaving family dinner after my boyfriend’s aunt asked me how much I charge “for cleaning houses like this”?
Oh boy, do we have a doozy for you today! Get ready to dive into a story that perfectly encapsulates those cringe-worthy family dinner moments, but with an extra helping of outright insult. Our OP, a wonderful young woman, found herself in a situation where her boyfriend's family decided to serve up more than just food at the dinner table—they dished out a hefty dose of classism and disrespect. Talk about an unappetizing experience!
It's always tricky navigating the dynamics of a new partner's family, trying to make a good impression while also staying true to yourself. But what happens when 'making a good impression' becomes an exercise in enduring blatant microaggressions, or in this case, a full-blown macro-aggression? Our OP faced this head-on, and her reaction has sparked a debate. Was she right to stand her ground, or did she overreact in front of her boyfriend's relatives?
"AITA for leaving family dinner after my boyfriend’s aunt asked me how much I charge “for cleaning houses like this”?"
Let’s start with Aunt Carol’s behavior. Regardless of her intentions, her question was deeply insulting and showed a blatant disregard for common courtesy, not to mention a stunning level of classism. To assume a young woman, particularly one dressed smartly for a family gathering, is a domestic worker demonstrates either profound ignorance or deliberate prejudice. It places her firmly in the wrong for initiating such an uncomfortable and disrespectful exchange at a family meal.
OP’s reaction, while certainly dramatic, is completely understandable. Being blindsided by such a demeaning comment in front of her boyfriend’s entire family would be shocking for anyone. The immediate hurt, anger, and embarrassment she felt are valid emotions. Her decision to stand up for herself, even if it meant disrupting the dinner, was a natural response to being so flagrantly disrespected. Sometimes, quiet acceptance only emboldens such behavior.
Now, let's consider the boyfriend, Mark. His immediate defense of OP and his decision to leave with her speak volumes about his character and his commitment to their relationship. He didn't waver, he didn't try to smooth things over at OP's expense, and he clearly prioritized her feelings. This is a significant green flag in terms of his support and how he handles family conflicts, especially when his partner is targeted.
The question of whether OP caused 'too much of a scene' is subjective. While it's generally preferred to maintain decorum, there are moments when one's dignity and self-respect must take precedence. OP chose to remove herself from a situation where she was being actively humiliated. This wasn't a minor slight; it was a deeply personal attack. Her actions, while disruptive, were a powerful statement against disrespect.
Readers Weigh In: Was OP Justified, or Did She Make It Worse?
The comments section for this story exploded, and as expected, the vast majority were firmly on OP's side. Many users highlighted the sheer audacity of Aunt Carol's question, pointing out that it wasn't just rude, but also deeply classist and disrespectful of people who *do* work in domestic services. The consensus was clear: OP was absolutely NTA for refusing to sit there and tolerate such an egregious insult. Her swift exit was applauded by almost everyone.
What really resonated with readers was Mark's immediate and unwavering support. Time and again, comments praised him for standing up for OP and leaving with her. This aspect of the story turned it from a simple AITA query into a 'find a Mark' moment, showcasing what a good partner should do in such situations. There were very few 'YTA' votes, mostly from those suggesting she should have just smiled and said 'no thank you' to avoid conflict, which was quickly shut down by others.
In conclusion, OP, you are overwhelmingly NTA for your reaction to Aunt Carol’s inexcusable comment. Your decision to remove yourself from a deeply disrespectful situation was a powerful act of self-preservation and dignity. It set a clear boundary that such behavior is unacceptable. Furthermore, Mark’s unwavering support is a testament to the strength of your relationship and his character. This incident, while unpleasant, has shown you exactly where you stand with him and where he stands with his family regarding your worth. Sometimes, making a 'scene' is exactly what's needed to demand respect.
