AITA for intentionally keeping my school award a secret from my dad?

Winning an award is often a moment of pride, not just for the recipient but for their loved ones. We usually expect family to be there, cheering us on, or at least to be among the first to hear the good news. It's a fundamental part of the parent-child dynamic: sharing successes and seeking validation. But what happens when that dynamic is fractured, and the desire to share just isn't there anymore?

Today's AITA story brings us a complex situation that many can relate to: a teenager achieving something significant but choosing to keep it from a parent. This isn't about forgetting to mention a small achievement; it's about a deliberate omission concerning an important school award. The reasons behind such a decision can be deeply rooted in family history and perception, leading to significant emotional fallout when the truth eventually comes to light. Let's dive in.

"AITA for intentionally keeping my school award a secret from my dad?"

This story immediately highlights a deep-seated issue in the parent-child relationship. The daughter, OP, has clearly experienced a pattern of dismissive and critical behavior from her father. Her decision to withhold information about her award isn't arbitrary; it's a protective measure born from past disappointments and a desire to preserve her own emotional well-being during a moment of personal triumph. It's a sad reflection when a child feels safer celebrating an achievement without a parent's knowledge.

From the father's perspective, however, this deliberate omission could feel like a profound betrayal and an act of exclusion. He may perceive it as his daughter actively cutting him out of her life, regardless of his past conduct. While his reaction might be disproportionate, his feelings of hurt and anger at being the last to know, and from an external source, are understandable on a basic human level. Parents often cherish being part of their children's milestones.

The core of this conflict lies in communication, or the lack thereof, and the history that shapes it. The father's past actions have evidently eroded trust and made open communication difficult for OP. She's likely anticipating a negative outcome, which makes her less inclined to share. This creates a vicious cycle where his perceived absence/criticism leads to her withholding, which then fuels his sense of exclusion.

Ultimately, while the father has a "right" to be informed as a parent, the daughter also has a right to protect her emotional space. The question isn't just about what *should* happen, but what *did* happen due to a long-standing dynamic. Both parties are experiencing hurt, but the catalyst for OP's actions stems from her perception of his consistent failure to provide the supportive parental presence she needed.

What the Internet has to say about protecting your peace!

The comments section for this story was, as expected, a lively debate, but with a strong lean towards NTA for the daughter. Many users empathized deeply with OP's need to protect her peace and avoid the predictable negative reactions from a critical parent. They highlighted that a child's obligation to share is often conditional on the parent's consistent support, which seemed absent here.

Several comments pointed out that the father's anger wasn't about the award itself, but about his control and perceived right to information, rather than genuine pride in his daughter's accomplishments. This resonated with many who felt the father's hurt was self-inflicted due to his own past behavior. The consensus was that while it might sting, the father's reaction was a direct consequence of his own actions over the years.

This AITA story offers a poignant look at the complexities of family relationships and the lasting impact of parental behavior. While the immediate outcome of the father's anger is painful, it underscores a deeper issue of trust and communication breakdown. For children of critical parents, the instinct to self-preserve often overrides societal expectations. It's a reminder that relationships are built on consistent effort and mutual respect, and sometimes, the only way to heal is to set boundaries, even when they're difficult. We hope this family can find a path towards healthier communication.