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AITA for refusing to share my mansion’s pool with my ex because they still call themselves “part owner”?

Ah, ex-partners and property – a tale as old as time, or at least as old as real estate ownership. We’ve all heard stories of exes trying to reclaim sentimental items or even shared pets, but what happens when the claim extends to a sprawling mansion and its magnificent infinity pool? This week’s AITA comes to us from someone who, after a monumental personal achievement, finds herself in an uncomfortable standoff.

Our OP (Original Poster) has successfully navigated the challenging world of post-breakup life, flourishing in her career to the point of acquiring her dream home. A home, mind you, purchased entirely through her own hard work and finances, long after the relationship ended. However, an old flame seems to believe that a shared *dream* of a future home translates into current *rights* to her very real and very expensive pool. Talk about a splash of cold water on a sunny day!

AITA for refusing to share my mansion’s pool with my ex because they still call themselves “part owner”?

"AITA for refusing to share my mansion’s pool with my ex because they still call themselves “part owner”?"

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This scenario highlights a common misconception that sometimes arises after a relationship ends: the blurred lines between shared aspirations and actual ownership. While the idea of a dream home with a pool may have been a joint fantasy, it's crucial to distinguish between a hypothetical future and a concrete, legally acquired asset. The OP's mansion was purchased solely by her, after the breakup, with her own earned money.

Setting boundaries with ex-partners is paramount, especially when one party exhibits a sense of entitlement. Mark's insistence on being a "part-owner of the concept" is a rather inventive, yet ultimately baseless, attempt to exert control and gain access to property he has no claim over. His actions are not only disrespectful of the OP's privacy but also demonstrate a significant lack of understanding regarding personal space and property rights.

Furthermore, the emotional manipulation involved in threatening to involve mutual friends is a red flag. It's an attempt to guilt-trip the OP into submission, leveraging social pressure instead of respecting her autonomy. A shared history, while valuable in memories, does not grant indefinite access or ownership claims to assets acquired independently post-breakup. This is a clear case where emotional appeals are being used to justify an unreasonable demand.

The OP's decision to firmly refuse access and establish clear boundaries was entirely justified. It's her home, her pool, and her right to decide who enters her private property. Her past relationship with Mark does not obligate her to entertain his unfounded sense of entitlement. Protecting her peace and property is not selfish; it's a fundamental right. Standing firm on this boundary is essential for her well-being.

The Internet weighs in: Is a shared dream a shared deed?

The comment section on this post was overwhelmingly clear: NTA. Readers universally agreed that a shared dream does not translate into legal or moral ownership. Many pointed out the manipulative nature of the ex's argument, emphasizing that his behavior was a significant boundary violation and an invasion of privacy. The consensus was strong that OP has every right to enjoy her hard-earned property without uninvited guests.

Several users highlighted the creepiness factor, suggesting that the ex's persistence went beyond mere misunderstanding into concerning entitlement. The advice ranged from simply reiterating boundaries to considering legal avenues if the ex continues to trespass. It seems the internet firmly believes that while memories might be shared, real estate very much is not, especially when purchased independently post-breakup.

Comentariu de la Poolside_Pro

Comentariu de la BoundaryBoss

Comentariu de la ExFilesExpert

Comentariu de la RealEstateReality


This AITA story serves as a potent reminder of the importance of establishing and maintaining clear boundaries, particularly with ex-partners. While past relationships can leave lasting impacts, they do not grant indefinite access or ownership over independently acquired assets. The OP is unequivocally NTA for protecting her property and peace. Her success is her own, and she has every right to enjoy it without the burden of an entitled ex. Let this be a lesson to us all: fantasies are free, but mansions come with a price tag and clearly defined ownership.

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